Teenage Discipline Requires A Sense Of Objectivity (Page 3)
The first is that your son brushed his arm against the hot kettle. An appropriate response here could be to ensure that he hasn't injured himself, help him to clean up the mess and make himself something to eat and then let him to go to bed. This would both calm the situation and allow the two of you a bit of breathing space to consider the situation before tackling the problem the following day.
The second is that your son threw the plate onto the floor deliberately. Tempers are already running high and the last thing you want to do is to inflame the situation further by pouring fuel on the fire. The best solution here is probably to tell your son, again calmly and quietly, to clean up the mess and go to bed. You should then leave the kitchen before your son has an opportunity to respond and the two of you start arguing again.
A common trap to fall into at this point is that of focusing your attention on cleaning up the kitchen. Your son may not clean up the mess and you may well be tempted to see this as a challenge to your authority which must be dealt with without delay. However, the broken plate is not the main issue and it's doesn't really matter whether he cleans up the mess or not. If he does then that's fine but, if he doesn't, then you should simply wait until he has gone to bed and then clear up the mess yourself. The following morning when you are both calm and have had a chance to sleep on things you can deal with both the fact that he came home late and with the broken plate.
By staying object and taking the time to discover just what happened and to consider an appropriate response your son will benefit in two ways. First, he will receive an appropriate punishment for his bad behavior and second he will see that it is possible to deal with situations in a mature and with controlled manner even when emotions are high.
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